Leadership Lessons from my Father

This is my first Father’s Day without my Dad. He passed away last July after a devastating illness, leaving a huge void in our family. He was strong, hard-working, authentic, and understood people like no one I have ever met.

He was well known for little sayings that would often bring an eye roll from me and my younger brother. But as I grew older, I came to recognize these were words of wisdom. Friends, corporate colleagues, and even clients have come to appreciate and often recite my dad’s words of wisdom. I now think of them as leadership lessons. 

My dad, Robert Marinella Sr., in front of the metal building manufacturing plant that he helped design and build over 40 years ago.

Lesson # 1: Listen to the Words.  

Time and again, I would reach out to my Dad after a challenging day at work hoping for some sage advice or a new perspective. He always had time for the call and would listen patiently as I shared the daily dilemma. When I finished, there was often a pause on the other end of the phone. Silence. Did the call drop? Was he distracted by something on ESPN? No –he was waiting for me to finish, pause, and process what I just shared.

After a moment, he would simply say:  “Listen to the words.” 

You see, he believed that I already had all the information I needed to navigate the situation. He taught me the importance of stepping back, eliminating emotion, and listening. 

Listening to the words means being fully present and hearing what is really being said – versus what we want to hear. From the latter lies the disconnect and the cause of misunderstanding, disappointment, and conflict. My father would often say, “That person told you everything you need to know; you just don’t want to hear it.” Or he would say, “Listen to your own words. You just told me what you want – so why aren’t you doing it?” By the way, this often applied to my personal life as well!

This leadership lesson is one I recently shared with a coaching client. He is a brilliant strategist but could not understand why there was so much tension and disconnect with his colleagues. As I collected data during the verbal 360 process, I began to hear a theme emerge: “He produces a lot of stuff – but it’s not what we want.” It turns out my client was producing materials that he thought they should have. Several stakeholders said they had given him that feedback – but my client would not listen and continued to produce materials that weren’t asked for. He has gone back to his stakeholders and is now listening to their words.  

Great leaders listen – to others and to themselves. When we are tuned in and truly listening to the words, it is much easier to get to the root of a situation and to find a solution.  

Happy Father’s Day, Dad.  You are missed – but your leadership lessons live on.